Circle of healing

III.

And it hurts but it's true
When you pray to the blue
And so you reveal, that nothing is real
Nothing but you.
-- Steve McDonald --

***

If Obi-Wan had had the least bit of interest, he would have watched Reaja's rather unpretentious entrance with royal amusement. Her hair was hanging in long strands around her face which seemed like it had just been ripped out of the deepest sleep. She walked as if she was still in a daze and yawned uninhibited.
Without giving further notice to the many small details Obi-Wan carefully but urgently pushed her out of the way with his shoulder and followed a young novice who showed him the way to the heart of the healer's temple.
Behind him he heard Reaja's steps rapidly getting faster. She rang a bell and called soft orders into one of the rooms that led away from the long hall. Faster than he had expected her to be, she was at his side. Her surprisingly strong arms helped him to lay the queen gently on a diagnosis bed.
Two more priestesses appeared, their robes unlike Reaja's immaculate and without a crease. They cast a stern glance at the Jedi.
"Why didn't you call us, Jedi? It was dangerous to transport the queen here the way you did without talking to us first."
Obi-Wan was surprised at the sternness of the voice and immediately he felt like a little child in the Jedi Temple who had been caught daydreaming. The same hot and cold feeling ran over him and he felt the urgent need to defend himself. "There was no more time to call for you. The queen needed immediate attention."
He shouldn't have let them realise that he was justifying his actions. Those women had a very acute feeling for half truths. Had he sounded strong and confident, they would not have asked further questions and would not have undermined the authority of the Jedi. But due to his lack of concentration and his worries for the queen, this was something that Obi-Wan was responsible for by himself.
Whatever would follow now could no longer be stopped.
"We will talk to you later, Jedi. Leave the room now."
His protest was suffocated by Reaja's warning look the very moment he had intended to voice it. Slowly he sneaked into the hall and sank onto a chair. His forehead resting on the crossed arms on his knees, he sent a searching impulse through the force.
The answer failed to appear.
Silence closed around him and the force grew quiet.

***

She was freezing.
Gleaming light that promised deceptive warmth contained nothing but cold which hurt her skin. No shadow promised the tortured eyes a relief, no cloud darkened the sky - the gleaming continued.
Arms wrapped closely around her much too thinly clothed body, Padmé walked into the light. Into the unknown, searching for the warmth she was rapidly losing.
Her naked feet produced soft sounds on the solid frozen snow, but every step, no matter how softly it sounded, brought new waves of pain.
Giving up? The words had lost their meaning.
She could have stopped.
But she could also go on.
And perhaps find a way out of this nightmare. Yet there was more that kept her walking.

***

"Master?"
The voice oozed into his mind like a glutinous liquid without causing any reaction right away.
"Master?"
The voice grew a little louder, but not unfriendlier, on the contrary - it grew more gentle. Obi-Wan thought he recognised the deep and soft voice of his mentor. A smile stole forth on his face and made it look years younger.
Reaja shook her head when she watched the sleeping Jedi. Huddled up on two of the most uncomfortable chairs of the whole temple in a posture that hurt her even to look at, he lay in a deep, peaceful sleep.
She rued having to wake him, now that it appeared he had finally found some rest. But the high priestess had sent for him and she could not afford not to obey her wish.
With some effort she remembered his first name. It was not common for the priestesses to call their patients by their first names, so it took her a while to find the right name for this one.
"Obi-Wan!"
The smile on his face which was already marked with too much responsibility, faded and was replaced by an unwilling frown.
"Just a few more minutes, Master", he mumbled and hid his face in the wide sleeve of his cloak.
A painful smile crossed the priestess's kind features. How often had she had to play that game with her own son?
With a sigh Reaja laid her hand on the heavy material of the cloak under which the young Jedi had nearly completely disappeared by now and shook him carefully.
"Wake up, Obi-Wan. The high priestess is waiting for you."
The mentioning of the high priestess woke Kenobi from his slumber. He squinted against the light of the hall and rubbed his eyes. With great effort he managed to suppress yawning openly into the priestess's face. When he finally recognised Reaja, last night's events came rushing back to him.
"How is the queen?"
The priestess put a bowl of hot tea in his hands. "Drink it as long as it is still hot."
When she saw his sceptical glance, she said: "You will be glad that I gave it to you, master."
Still not fully awake, Obi-Wan stared at the healer in confusion while he drank.
"Follow me, Jedi."

***

Reaja had been right. The inquisition of the highest priestess lasted a small eternity. Patience had never been one of his strengths, which caused rather unusual outbursts he regretted nearly immediately.
The priestesses knew they were talking to a Jedi. This alone should have stopped this cross-examination.
But this was no regular case. This was about the queen's life, a young woman that had been perfectly healthy before she had been in close contact with him.
When they finally called for a break, Obi-Wan felt drained and exhausted. The questions had come from a few of the priestesses at the same time, making listening alone difficult. Questions he did not know the answers to.
Tiredly he trotted along into the nearby garden and sank onto the soft grass with a sigh. He took a simple meditation posture and fought for the mental strength he would need for further confrontations with the healers. All of this would have been a whole lot easier, had the accusations not been understandable. But they were understandable. The Jedi Council would not have reacted any differently had it been for one of them.
'The council.'
Obi-Wan got up with a motion that was too fluid for his weakened body. The past days had left their marks and now every muscle screamed at the unexpectedly fast movement.
For a few moments darkness whirred at the edges of his visual field. He felt miserably betrayed by his body and pushed back the darkness angrily. There was no time for this. Weakness was nothing he could afford now.
He bowed his respect to the high priestess and excused himself.
The morning sun had risen and came through the sluggishly rising early morning mists with a strangely unreal light that made the rain soaked path shimmer in myriads of colours. The songs of the birds in the jungle accompanied him and brought a confidence which seemed improper to Obi-Wan.
Kenobi feared the confrontation with the council, since in all likelihood it had been his carelessness, his weakness that had brought the queen into immediate danger.
He sought all the strength he could gather and prepared for the talk with the council. Such a short time after Qui-Gon's death, it seemed a doubly disparaging disgrace to have failed.
His turmoiled heart was inwardly screaming for the support of his master which had become so natural and familiar over the years. He would have given him courage. He would have understood. He would ...
'Enough!'
Obi-Wan called himself to order when he felt himself drowning in the painful memories once again. He could not afford that. Not now.
No weakness.
Not in front of the council.
Not in front of anybody.

***

 

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